[Cam makes some impressive time from wherever he is, and in 22 minutes, Fred might hear the sound of pounding boots on the ground, and a distant yelling.]
Waaaaait for meeeeeeee!
[He's weezing when he stops, and leans over to catch his breath.]
[What proceeds is probably one of the most cringe-inducing attempts at bartering that Frederick has probably seen. Cam demands a taste of the grapes to confirm that they’re even worth the cost, frequently alluding to another mystery vendor down the road whose grapes are much cheaper. Eventually, though, Cam wins out in the end, and is soon walking away with a small bundle of grapes, in return for a half hour of manual labor. It may have been largely just to get Cam to go away so that he could get on with vending to other customers, but to the victor go the spoils.]
[ Honestly, Fred probably should have left after the first five minutes to finish up his shopping, but the spectacle of Cam bartering with the merchant ends up strangely mesmerizing.
In the end, Cam wins, and Fred contemplates giving the man a round of polite applause in honor of all the effort he'd just put in to acquire some grapes. ]
Indeed, that was very well done of you. I shall strive to put what I've learned today to use in future bartering attempts.
[ But first! A question. ]
Why were you so insistent to acquire grapes? Do they hold some special meaning for you?
[You should. As we all know: the most annoying customers get the best deals.]
Huh? [ At the question Cam stares at Frederick like he just asked him why he cares to breath air.] What do you mean? Grapes are delicious.
[Cam is a simple man with simple desires. Speaking of, he fishes in his bundle of grapes, shoving a few in his mouth. While chewing—] Back home, there’s a place called the Moon Spire that has glowing grapes! [A beat, then, more solemnly,] …Had them, I guess.
[ That doesn't explain why Cam felt the need to run up out of his home upon hearing that his precious grapes were about to disappear. Surely anyone else would consider that an overreaction?
But his correction's caught on by Fred's sharp ears and whatever else Fred might have had to say about grapes dies on his tongue.
Well, almost. ]
What made the grapes glow? Were they bewitched somehow?
Cam shrugs, glad to avoid the more grim part of the topic,] I think they were magical. Pretty much everything glowed at the Moon Spire. If Elora ever wakes up, she could probably tell you.
[ That sounds beautiful, in its own way. It must have been nice to see everything glow under the moon's pale glow. (Maybe that was why it'd been named the Moon Spire?)
[You have far too much faith in Cam to think that he would have a girlfriend.
He nods,] Yeah, a friend. [Then, bragging a little,] And the Princess of the Moon Spire. Pretty impressive that a guy like me is friends with royalty, yeah?
[And Cam is very comfortably settling into the delusion that it’s only a matter of time before his friends, and all of the others wake up. It’s not wrong, although he might be off on the timing, and it’s easier than thinking about everything in the past tense.]
[ Actually that's very impressive. He never would have imagined that Cam would be graceful enough to rub elbows with royalty (no offense). But it would be rude to say that, and so Fred settles for polite agreement instead. ]
Quite. She must have been quite the kind and charitable princess, to be befriend so many.
[ He's assuming she's friends with a lot of people, if she's friends with Cam. ]
[Full offense taken! Except Cam totally doesn’t pick up on that subtle burn. You would be surprised how much royalty Cam has rubbed elbows with, Fred. Maybe less surprised by the amount of royalty that has tried to kill him though. (Tally: at least 5)
Babbling on,] Yeah. Her dad, King Alfadon, he’s a little racist but he’s still a pretty good guy. Almost died trying to save his life—Have you ever fallen in lava?
[They are obviously done with their shopping: Cam got his grapes. Cam puffs out his chest a little bit, having ascertained that he’s survived something truly metal.]
It wasn’t such a big deal. [He just barely avoided dying, that’s all. He definitely didn’t need to be rescued by a certain elven princess,] Burnt my pants right off.
[That’s an exaggeration. Why would you even brag about that?]
[It is working! Cam loves talking about himself as long as those topics don't include his dead sister.]
Oh yeah. All the time. You might not believe it, but I'm a pretty big hero back home. [Not a lie. There's even an Avatar-the-Last-Airbender-Ember-Isles-esque stage play going on about their adventures. Cam might have been portrayed like a giant idiot in it, because it was written by someone who hates him, but like hell Cam is going to mention that.]
A guy like you has probably seen some action too, right? Or is all of that armor just for show?
Hardly for show. [ He sounds offended by the very notion. ] I wouldn't be the deputy of the Shepherds had I not seen my fair share of action upon the battlefield.
[ And then they talked all the way home, at which point Fred made dinner and Cam had his grapes and it was all great, the end. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Cam is sighing very loudly on the outside.]
nevermind
ill talk to him myself later
[:(]
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But he might sell out of grapes by the time you reach him. Why, there are only a few bunches left.
[ more like, only a few dozen bunches left. ]
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tell him to wait
im coming
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After a minute: ]
He says he won't wait more than thirty minutes.
[ GET GOIN', CAM ]
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Waaaaait for meeeeeeee!
[He's weezing when he stops, and leans over to catch his breath.]
Are... are they gone?
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It's the shopkeep that answers Cam, disgruntled by the sudden commotion in front of his stall. ]
Gone? Can't you see there's a whole bunch right in front of you? Ain't you got eyes?
[ Off to the side, Fred clears his throat surreptitiously. ]
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[Cam looks from the plethora of grapes to Frederick and back.
Looking accusingly towards Frederick,] You said he was going to run out!
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I'm sure he would have, given a few more days. [ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ] But now that you're here, shall I leave the purchasing of grapes in your hands?
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[What proceeds is probably one of the most cringe-inducing attempts at bartering that Frederick has probably seen. Cam demands a taste of the grapes to confirm that they’re even worth the cost, frequently alluding to another mystery vendor down the road whose grapes are much cheaper. Eventually, though, Cam wins out in the end, and is soon walking away with a small bundle of grapes, in return for a half hour of manual labor. It may have been largely just to get Cam to go away so that he could get on with vending to other customers, but to the victor go the spoils.]
See Freddie? It wasn’t that hard.
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In the end, Cam wins, and Fred contemplates giving the man a round of polite applause in honor of all the effort he'd just put in to acquire some grapes. ]
Indeed, that was very well done of you. I shall strive to put what I've learned today to use in future bartering attempts.
[ But first! A question. ]
Why were you so insistent to acquire grapes? Do they hold some special meaning for you?
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Huh? [ At the question Cam stares at Frederick like he just asked him why he cares to breath air.] What do you mean? Grapes are delicious.
[Cam is a simple man with simple desires. Speaking of, he fishes in his bundle of grapes, shoving a few in his mouth. While chewing—] Back home, there’s a place called the Moon Spire that has glowing grapes! [A beat, then, more solemnly,] …Had them, I guess.
[Oh no, now he made himself sad.]
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But his correction's caught on by Fred's sharp ears and whatever else Fred might have had to say about grapes dies on his tongue.
Well, almost. ]
What made the grapes glow? Were they bewitched somehow?
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Cam shrugs, glad to avoid the more grim part of the topic,] I think they were magical. Pretty much everything glowed at the Moon Spire. If Elora ever wakes up, she could probably tell you.
[Being from there, and all.]
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He blinks at the name, unfamiliar to his ears. ]
Elora? A good friend of yours?
[ Or even girlfriend? ]
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He nods,] Yeah, a friend. [Then, bragging a little,] And the Princess of the Moon Spire. Pretty impressive that a guy like me is friends with royalty, yeah?
[And Cam is very comfortably settling into the delusion that it’s only a matter of time before his friends, and all of the others wake up. It’s not wrong, although he might be off on the timing, and it’s easier than thinking about everything in the past tense.]
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Quite. She must have been quite the kind and charitable princess, to be befriend so many.
[ He's assuming she's friends with a lot of people, if she's friends with Cam. ]
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Babbling on,] Yeah. Her dad, King Alfadon, he’s a little racist but he’s still a pretty good guy. Almost died trying to save his life—Have you ever fallen in lava?
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I'm quite relieved to say I never have. That seems a frightful experience to emerge from unscathed.
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It wasn’t such a big deal. [He just barely avoided dying, that’s all. He definitely didn’t need to be rescued by a certain elven princess,] Burnt my pants right off.
[That’s an exaggeration. Why would you even brag about that?]
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I hope you managed to find another pair of pants with little trouble.
[ Going around pantsless....the horror. He would just die of mortification if that ever happened to him. ]
You must have been on many the adventures then.
[ Look, he's trying to Bond(TM), is it working. ]
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Oh yeah. All the time. You might not believe it, but I'm a pretty big hero back home. [Not a lie. There's even an Avatar-the-Last-Airbender-Ember-Isles-esque stage play going on about their adventures. Cam might have been portrayed like a giant idiot in it, because it was written by someone who hates him, but like hell Cam is going to mention that.]
A guy like you has probably seen some action too, right? Or is all of that armor just for show?
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[ And then they talked all the way home, at which point Fred made dinner and Cam had his grapes and it was all great, the end. ]